Life is getting dull every day. I must join the army or
anything for a living. I am 21 and should be working by now. My friends, or the
ones I knew, have jobs or getting jobs, working their ass-out to make a living in
this ever so boring world or, should I say, chaotic. Chaotic because of some
phony guys out there and the inevitable harsh climate. Gimme a break!
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I once wrote
that visitors are annoying, they still are. You ask why? Because they are not
part of the family, that’s why.
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My wound is
getting itchy, wounds get very itchy when they are getting well and you don’t
want it when it is itchy. If you feel itchy it is nice a sensation, you know. I
hate it when your head is itchy, too. Dandruff. Dandruff again, I can’t get it
out even though I use an anti-dandruff shampoo.
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If you’re
feeling hopeless you’ll write. Everybody writes when they are hopeless, unless
tell it to somebody. Telling stories or what I felt is not really my style,
actually I don’t like people who are talkative and making such gossip. Gossip
are such a pain in the ass. I hate the feeling of hopelessness. There are a lot
of options but it seems dark, you know. How long can I stand being a hopeless
crap. Sometimes waiting can be a bore, sometimes. When people can’t wait for
the opportunity come and there’s a lot of hopelessness in his/her mind he might
commit suicide. As I think it over and over it is irrational and illogical, all
the time I think about it. Choosing to commit suicide instead of drinking is
such a waste.
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Did you know
that China has an ‘Age of Sage’, well if I keep writing like this stuff I can
be a sage or something. If I’m gone, and
everything, and somebody reads my blogs or my notebook that person might form a
sect or anything like it to stand to my beliefs. It is quite funny to think of.
It always happens to philosopher, writers and artists. What is wrong with them
forming sects or something? I makes me sick yet fascinated by their fanaticism.
