Write to your hearts content #1

     Life is getting dull every day. I must join the army or anything for a living. I am 21 and should be working by now. My friends, or the ones I knew, have jobs or getting jobs, working their ass-out to make a living in this ever so boring world or, should I say, chaotic. Chaotic because of some phony guys out there and the inevitable harsh climate. Gimme a break!

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     I once wrote that visitors are annoying, they still are. You ask why? Because they are not part of the family, that’s why.

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     My wound is getting itchy, wounds get very itchy when they are getting well and you don’t want it when it is itchy. If you feel itchy it is nice a sensation, you know. I hate it when your head is itchy, too. Dandruff. Dandruff again, I can’t get it out even though I use an anti-dandruff shampoo.

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     If you’re feeling hopeless you’ll write. Everybody writes when they are hopeless, unless tell it to somebody. Telling stories or what I felt is not really my style, actually I don’t like people who are talkative and making such gossip. Gossip are such a pain in the ass. I hate the feeling of hopelessness. There are a lot of options but it seems dark, you know. How long can I stand being a hopeless crap. Sometimes waiting can be a bore, sometimes. When people can’t wait for the opportunity come and there’s a lot of hopelessness in his/her mind he might commit suicide. As I think it over and over it is irrational and illogical, all the time I think about it. Choosing to commit suicide instead of drinking is such a waste.

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     Did you know that China has an ‘Age of Sage’, well if I keep writing like this stuff I can be a sage or something.  If I’m gone, and everything, and somebody reads my blogs or my notebook that person might form a sect or anything like it to stand to my beliefs. It is quite funny to think of. It always happens to philosopher, writers and artists. What is wrong with them forming sects or something? I makes me sick yet fascinated by their fanaticism.

Before Photoshop there was Art

Noong panahon ng mga lolo natin ang uso ay ang tinatawag na pin-up, ito yung ancestor ng playboy, fhm, calendar girls at pinothoshop na picture ng magagandang kababaihan. Dahil nag emerge ang photography napag-iwanan na ang ganitong klaseng art. Ginagawa ang pin-up sa pagkuha ng litrato ng isang modelo at iguguhit/kokopyahin ang porma ng modelo, syempre bibigyan na ng artist ng buhay ang kanyang guhit sa pamamagitan ng pagdadagdag ng kung anu-ano. Ito ang ilan sa mga samples.

Ang gaganda ng kinalabasan di ba? di ba? Talagang buhay pa ang art nuon kaya nakakainggit ang panahon o henerasyon na nauna sa atin.

Tambay (emosyonal w/ tagalog doctrina font)

Nliliti ako kng ano ang ggwin ko sa buhay kong ito puro nlng bgsk

Nkkirita na khit anon a lang sana mgkrooooon na ako ng trabho

Mgllkbai n lang ako s lawaln hnggang mtgpuan ko ako kplran

Umas p rin ako s desisyon ko

Sh*t! I fail the . . .

     Sh8! I take a neuro exam for the second time and I fail. I hate failing, not that i love to be perfect or the highest but i really hate failing. Everybody hate it. What I want is just to pass the test. Now, my hunger is too much as my frustration is. D**n! Maybe its just they have different standard or anything but it kill me. Such a pain in the ass. If I speak my mind out, I'll be insulting everyone. F*ck.
     What path should I take now. One of the things I hate is when you're thinking 'bout the future, everybody's asking that phony question all my life. Nobody knows what future may bring but they'll keep asking it, as if it is just a quiz or something. Maybe they are just fooling around. Now, that i fail I must quench my thirst. Hunting job is not easy! How could they do such a torturous thing to us, applicants. That is the problem with this F***ing system. Nobody is safe from that sticky red tape, that keeps everyone down.
     Which path Must I take to escape from the boredom of being unemployed and shame of being left behind by your comrades. If stepping back is the answer to move forward, I will go. If a tree does not fall from the first strikes I will do it repeatedly and succeed. I will encourage myself for this is a test, and after this a lesson must be learned. If I stumble, I will go forward until I reach the the end of my journey. I must taste the bitterness of  failure to enjoy the glorious taste of success.
     My journey is just building-up to make an awesome story. My counsel hear my moan, how i suffer for these trials to glorify thy name. It is me, who ignore you but please don't ignore the grunts of my wounded heart. It is true that through hardship you can make an insincere man sincere. Thanks for the hope that will guide me. Sorry for the poisonous words I had uttered. Thank you for my youth, because it makes me strong   like many winters.
     I just hate failing that's all I wanna say. The world is cruel and the world I want to enter is more cruel, so failure must be minimize for if not death will be the prize. If we want to fight the wise guys, we must be a  wise guy, too.
     Enough, already. I have written too much. It is not me who shapes your 'f' future. It is you! And don't make fun of my failure.